Fart master

“Your objectionable inquiry does not warrant to be incorporated in the domain of my subject matter thereby disabling me to provide an appropriate answer” he exclaimed, dumbfounding the audience at the meeting. Distribution of snacks commenced shortly, enabling Raju to come out unscathed from yet another potentially disastrous situation. “Phew!” he sighed; “saved!!….thanks to my incomprehensible talk” he smirked. It seemed that Global Ltd had recruited him just for this purpose!!

Raju enjoyed his career. His ability to use bombastic jargons intertwined with complex and undecipherable verbs and adjectives enabled him to progressively boost his image with a parallel and inversely proportional quotient of effort.

The sky seemed to be the limit for his potential. He perceived his proprietary skills to be unique, patented and inimitable. He had climbed up the corporate ladder quickly, thanks to his ‘immaculate’ talking skills. Life couldn’t be better….until Fred happened.

Fred was different from the rest. Raju could sense that. To start with, the inverse-triangular shaped tiny gathering of hair just below his lip disturbed Raju. As the new CEO of the company, Fred had come to India to meet the top officials and understand the progress of the organization here.

After a spate of ribbon-cutting and other nondescript activities that occupied the entire morning, Fred finally entered Raju's cabin to have a one-on-one chat with him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sir” blurted Raju, lost for ideas. The hair was indeed disturbing. Fred kicked off….“So Mr. Raju, could you retrospect the preceding quarter, assess the key contribution of the diverse interrelated, yet independent business groups and sketch the strategy for the ensuing interlude. Your abstract must encompass the dynamic ramifications of the erstwhile CEO’s resolutions without straying into facets manipulated by peripheral and irrepressible factors” he queried in a calm and comfortable fashion.

“What the…!” Raju ejaculated. He was short of words for the first time in his corporate career. “Well…well, it’s been a good quarter.” he remarked randomly. He could not talk…the hairy triangle was weighing heavily in his mind. “Why triangle?” he pondered.

The dreaded meeting lasted for over half-hour and Raju was totally lost into the realm of geometry in general, triangles in particular. The CEO’s non-stop manufacture of meaningless filth from the roof of the triangular garden ceased to make any impact whatsoever…Raju’s mind went blank…“I fail to fathom your inability to relate to my strategically-directed pertinent and pervasive enquiries regarding the self-motivated and focused growth imperative of this organization in your domestic terrain!” exclaimed the CEO with anguish.

That was it. He couldn’t take it any more. He jumped from his chair and yelled “Stop it you nincompoop….or I’ll shave your triangle off! I am getting suffocated with your gaseous exhausts! You are simply unbelievable!!” and stormed out of the room. That was indeed, his last day of self-admiration.

Emotional fool

The blanket was ruffled. The towel was not dry yet. The fragrance of his scent still lingered in the air. The room was full, yet it was empty. Yadav finally moved away from his son's room and settled into his arm-chair on the verandah, creaking along as it swayed him back and forth, into past and present.

Ram was born to him after 17 long years of marriage. “Those strained days”, Yadav recollected, “days of pity, of worship, of sleeplessness, of yearning, of consoling, of desperation. But it was worth every second, as God’s own child finally beckoned my home! The day he was born...the best day of my life!!” he recalled.

Tender, like coconut-yoke, the little thing bawled, unprovoked. “You’ll bring the roof down crying like this”, Yadav fondly chided the baby, well aware that neither party connected to the statement. It simply was the cutest thing in the world: Pink legs, ineffably small fingers and wide-round disproportionate eyes.

Life was never the same again after his birth. Ram personified life. He was the centrifugal force driving every single move, every single decision. Yadav dedicated all his energies in raising Ram, making available whatever he sought for. It stretched his limitations, altered his lifestyle, changed his priorities, yet, it was inevitable, his love was overwhelming.

"Here...take your coffee", Girija said, bringing Yadav back from wonderland. She wore a sullen look on her face. She had been crying for a long time. Her eyes were red, swollen and damp. Helpless and tired, she was making vain attempts to recuperate, bring back some life into this home, an epicenter of grief. “We’ll see him again next December, won’t we? You don’t realize, but time just flies. Come on now, have some coffee” she said unconvincingly, extending her arm.

Yadav sipped along the coffee as his mind dissolved into reminiscence again. “He was eight then”, he recalled “when Ram left with Girija to her hometown. I dropped them at the station. And when the train started to move, he suddenly jumped to the window, looking at me on the platform. Those mesmerizing eyes, the yearning in them, the love they adorned…still etched in my mind”.

His thoughts chugged along, stopping at various stations of time, some big, some small, but all of them close to his heart. After a long journey, he finally managed to lift himself from the chair and stroll across to the kitchen.

Girija was cutting vegetables. “When will he reach?” asked Yadav. “It will take another 23 hours. He will call once he gets there. Don’t fret”, she mumbled. “It’s already been 2 years since he went to the US. All I get is 20 days with him every year. My life seems to have lost all purpose. I dedicated my entire life to bringing him up, and all I get is 20 days!” Yadav moaned. “It’s his life, he’s a grown up now. He can decide where he wants to live and what he wants do. You better come into terms with these things! He is not your little kid anymore” she admonished Yadav “And he never asked you to dedicate your life to him. It’s your fault…I always told you to be more pragmatic, but you remained an emotional fool”.

“Emotional I am, but fool…maybe not”, he answered meekly and went back to his arm-chair.

Sachin Tendulkar

Yet another impressive answer. His smartness was ubiquitous; the sparkle in his eyes was striking. Manoj was by far the best among the lot, the Sachin Tendulkar among them. I immediately offered him to work as my assistant.

“I’ve been with this bank for 17 years now. Those days, even a degree was a big achievement. What I am today is not because of my academics, but because of the invaluable work experience I’ve gained. But now, it’s a different ball game. You are a management graduate from one of the premier institutions. The Management looks favorably at people like you. Make most of it. Vinod Kambli once said that while he took the stairs, Sachin Tendulkar took the elevator. You should be like Sachin Tendulkar” I advised him in the induction session. “Yes Sir, I will do my best” he said, reassuringly.

Master blaster, he was. Over the next few years, Manoj grew in stature both in my eyes, and in the organization’s. He shouldered responsibilities, took initiative and worked with utmost dedication. His talent, combined with hard work saw him move up the corporate ladder at an accelerated pace. Soon, our department was in the limelight and Manoj became the blue-eyed boy of the bank. I was proud of my recruit. With the next Management Committee meeting round the corner, I was confident that our department will be on top of the agenda, thanks to Sachin Tendulkar being in my team.

And on top it was. I was invited to the meeting where the Management expressed its extreme satisfaction over the performance of my department. “Thank you so much. This department has indeed grown to mammoth proportions, thanks to your significant contribution” they said unanimously. I was truly humbled with the accolades. “There is one change though”, the Chairman said, his tone softening. “We have decided to make Manoj the head of the department henceforth. We believe he is more capable in leading this department into the future. Thus we would like you to step down.” he said curtly, firmly, without looking at my eyes. There was complete silence in the room. I stared at his face in disbelief. He didn’t look at me. Nor did anyone else. A moment of madness, yet, a moment of truth. My mind ceased to work. I left the room.

Sachin Tendulkar had become the captain…and I wasn’t amused.

The magical sitar

The phone kept ringing. The tea on his table went cold. His computer screen made no sense. Life had come to a full stop. Memories of this morning were haunting Raghav: the black-coat droned emotionless lawyer, the dismal court room, piles of paper, weeping parents and above all, the grim and unperturbed face of Sita.

“Ah!” he recollected, “her face! how beautiful it was...”. Eyes closed, brows raised, she was lost in the magical world of music with a sitar in her hand. The very sight of her was enchanting for Raghav. The scent of the jasmine flowers flowing along her braids captivated him. Over the sweets and savouries, he had immediately agreed to tie the knot with this damsel from heaven.

“Three long years…..all down the drain” he sighed now. “But Sita was right in leaving me. After all, I betrayed her trust”. He felt like a criminal: hopeless, desperate and tainted. If only he could revisit time, if only he could change things. As a tear dropped from his eyes, he closed them and rested his head on the table.

“Hey Rags, cheer up man!” said Vidya. “Life does not end here, remember? Everybody gets a second chance. It seems as if the whole office building is going to collapse now with dullness. Come on…listen to me. After all, I’m your best friend.” She took him out for lunch, cracked some jokes, lightened up his mood, made him smile.

With days passing by, his wheels started creaking again...his faith in life started resurfacing. He became increasingly dependant on Vidya for support, comfort and warmth. He eagerly waited for the lunch session every day, to meet her, sit next to her and listen to her talk. The one hour gave him enough feed to sail through the rest of the day.

“Where’s Vidya today?” he asked Kumar, opening his lunch box one day. “She has not come”, said Kumar “She’s got somebody coming to her house for a marriage proposal”, he added.

Raghav had a disturbed afternoon. “Why am I upset? I should be happy for her”, he admonished himself. He waited for the evening and then called her.

“Rags, guess what! I got engaged! I’m so excited!!! This guy, Sachin, he’s from the US. He came with his parents to propose an alliance. I fell in love the moment I saw him. I spoke to him for over an hour. He asked me to sing a song when I bragged on my vocal skills. I was a bit nervous initially, but with the sitar in my hand, soon I was lost in my world of music. He was very impressed and couldn’t stop gaping at me!!” she grinned. “And I couldn’t stop blushing” she added. “We are getting married next month and I’m off to the US immediately after that!” she exclaimed.

“I’m really happy for you Vidya”, Raghav remarked unconvincingly and put down the receiver.