Fart master
“Your objectionable inquiry does not warrant to be incorporated in the domain of my subject matter thereby disabling me to provide an appropriate answer” he exclaimed, dumbfounding the audience at the meeting. Distribution of snacks commenced shortly, enabling Raju to come out unscathed from yet another potentially disastrous situation. “Phew!” he sighed; “saved!!….thanks to my incomprehensible talk” he smirked. It seemed that Global Ltd had recruited him just for this purpose!!
Raju enjoyed his career. His ability to use bombastic jargons intertwined with complex and undecipherable verbs and adjectives enabled him to progressively boost his image with a parallel and inversely proportional quotient of effort.
The sky seemed to be the limit for his potential. He perceived his proprietary skills to be unique, patented and inimitable. He had climbed up the corporate ladder quickly, thanks to his ‘immaculate’ talking skills. Life couldn’t be better….until Fred happened.
Fred was different from the rest. Raju could sense that. To start with, the inverse-triangular shaped tiny gathering of hair just below his lip disturbed Raju. As the new CEO of the company, Fred had come to India to meet the top officials and understand the progress of the organization here.
After a spate of ribbon-cutting and other nondescript activities that occupied the entire morning, Fred finally entered Raju's cabin to have a one-on-one chat with him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sir” blurted Raju, lost for ideas. The hair was indeed disturbing. Fred kicked off….“So Mr. Raju, could you retrospect the preceding quarter, assess the key contribution of the diverse interrelated, yet independent business groups and sketch the strategy for the ensuing interlude. Your abstract must encompass the dynamic ramifications of the erstwhile CEO’s resolutions without straying into facets manipulated by peripheral and irrepressible factors” he queried in a calm and comfortable fashion.
“What the…!” Raju ejaculated. He was short of words for the first time in his corporate career. “Well…well, it’s been a good quarter.” he remarked randomly. He could not talk…the hairy triangle was weighing heavily in his mind. “Why triangle?” he pondered.
The dreaded meeting lasted for over half-hour and Raju was totally lost into the realm of geometry in general, triangles in particular. The CEO’s non-stop manufacture of meaningless filth from the roof of the triangular garden ceased to make any impact whatsoever…Raju’s mind went blank…“I fail to fathom your inability to relate to my strategically-directed pertinent and pervasive enquiries regarding the self-motivated and focused growth imperative of this organization in your domestic terrain!” exclaimed the CEO with anguish.
That was it. He couldn’t take it any more. He jumped from his chair and yelled “Stop it you nincompoop….or I’ll shave your triangle off! I am getting suffocated with your gaseous exhausts! You are simply unbelievable!!” and stormed out of the room. That was indeed, his last day of self-admiration.
Raju enjoyed his career. His ability to use bombastic jargons intertwined with complex and undecipherable verbs and adjectives enabled him to progressively boost his image with a parallel and inversely proportional quotient of effort.
The sky seemed to be the limit for his potential. He perceived his proprietary skills to be unique, patented and inimitable. He had climbed up the corporate ladder quickly, thanks to his ‘immaculate’ talking skills. Life couldn’t be better….until Fred happened.
Fred was different from the rest. Raju could sense that. To start with, the inverse-triangular shaped tiny gathering of hair just below his lip disturbed Raju. As the new CEO of the company, Fred had come to India to meet the top officials and understand the progress of the organization here.
After a spate of ribbon-cutting and other nondescript activities that occupied the entire morning, Fred finally entered Raju's cabin to have a one-on-one chat with him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sir” blurted Raju, lost for ideas. The hair was indeed disturbing. Fred kicked off….“So Mr. Raju, could you retrospect the preceding quarter, assess the key contribution of the diverse interrelated, yet independent business groups and sketch the strategy for the ensuing interlude. Your abstract must encompass the dynamic ramifications of the erstwhile CEO’s resolutions without straying into facets manipulated by peripheral and irrepressible factors” he queried in a calm and comfortable fashion.
“What the…!” Raju ejaculated. He was short of words for the first time in his corporate career. “Well…well, it’s been a good quarter.” he remarked randomly. He could not talk…the hairy triangle was weighing heavily in his mind. “Why triangle?” he pondered.
The dreaded meeting lasted for over half-hour and Raju was totally lost into the realm of geometry in general, triangles in particular. The CEO’s non-stop manufacture of meaningless filth from the roof of the triangular garden ceased to make any impact whatsoever…Raju’s mind went blank…“I fail to fathom your inability to relate to my strategically-directed pertinent and pervasive enquiries regarding the self-motivated and focused growth imperative of this organization in your domestic terrain!” exclaimed the CEO with anguish.
That was it. He couldn’t take it any more. He jumped from his chair and yelled “Stop it you nincompoop….or I’ll shave your triangle off! I am getting suffocated with your gaseous exhausts! You are simply unbelievable!!” and stormed out of the room. That was indeed, his last day of self-admiration.
posted by krishnan at 5:50 PM
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